Can you imagine what it would be like if one of Donald Trump’s children was as much of a world-class screwup as, well… everyone in Joe Biden’s family, but Hunter Biden in particular? Trump would never have been able to speak to a reporter without them asking about that ne’er-do-well black sheep of the family and how that goofball failure was a reflection of Trump’s character and abilities as a father. Yet the media continues to cover up scandal after scandal of Hunter Biden’s, in the greatest example of white privilege that we can ever hope to see in this lifetime.
Here’s one bombshell example: the time when Hunter overpaid a hooker $17,000 on his dad’s credit cards!
Man! That Laptop from Hell continues to pay dividends! The New York Post is now reporting on yet another one of Hunter Biden’s escapades that is directly related to his father, “Family Values Joe.” But there’s nary a peep about this story from the entire rest of the media.
According to the Post, which has a copy of the Laptop from Hell, Hunter Biden hired a $4,000-a-night Russian girl who advertised her services as an “elite courtesan” working for the now-defunct Emerald Fantasy Girls in Hollywood back in 2018. If you’re keeping score, that’s one more Russian than the entire 3-year Mueller Russian collusion investigation was ever able to identify. Anyway…
Hunter hired Yanna to spend a couple of days with him at the swanky Chateau Marmont hotel. Based on the videos and photos that accompanied her visit, which were stored on the Laptop from Hell, the two of them spent the two days on an amazing crack binge. They smoked lots of crack. Lots. Of. Crack.
Hunter and “Yanna” wile away the days smoking crack, drinking vodka and making pornographic videos together. Noted oil and gas expert Hunter Biden, who was being paid $80,000 a month to sit on the board of Ukrainian gas company Burisma at the time, spends a lot of hours trying to balance a line of M&Ms on his—oh, good grief!
As much as we enjoy reporting on Hunter Biden’s life of misadventures and danger, there are certain lines we’re not going to cross for you, dear readers. We are NOT counting those M&Ms! You’re just going to have to live without that detail. Yeesh! I have to go wash my eyes out with vinegar or something now.
Anyway, after two days of bliss, oblivion and crack, Yanna decides it’s time to leave and asks Hunter to pay her $8,000 fee. No problemo! This is THE Hunter Biden, she’s talking to, right?
Hunter whips out his credit card… and it’s declined. Next card… declined. And on and on. Finally, the transaction goes through on one of the cards. Yanna has collected her $8,000 fee, so she takes off. Hunter falls asleep.
A few minutes later, Hunter’s cell phone starts to blow up with alerts. All of the attempted credit card transactions were suddenly cleared and went through – and he’s actually transferred $25,000 in total to the Russian hooker — including several thousand dollars on a credit card that his dad’s name is attached to.
Let’s just pause for a moment and reflect on this: No Hollywood scriptwriter could ever come up with a series of outlandish misadventures that could measure up to Hunter Biden’s day-to-day life. This dude is a LEGEND in all the wrong ways!
The Secret Service in Washington, DC panicked and started sending out alerts to the Los Angeles district office. All they knew was that Hunter and Joe Biden’s credit cards had suddenly maxed out on payments to a Russian escort service. Keep in mind – the Russia collusion hoax witch hunt by Robert Mueller’s team was still going on when this happened! Like everything else that happens in Hunter’s life, the timing was… awkward.
Secret Service agents swooped into the Chateau Marmont, worried that maybe Hunter had been kidnapped by Russian mobsters or something. But it was just Hunter gallivanting around with a Russian hooker while smoking crack and messing up the credit card payment. The end!
Except that wouldn’t be the end if anyone related to Donald Trump had ever had an escapade like that. We shouldn’t hold our breath on the media ever asking Joe Biden about the time he overpaid one of Hunter’s hookers by $17,000 though. Or how Hunter’s lifestyle and character are a reflection on Joe’s leadership or his abilities as a father. That day will never come. But if we do wait a few days, there will surely be another episode of the Hunter Biden Action & Adventure Hour coming our way.